Mob Mentality

We had a team in this past week, so I've been incredibly busy!  There was a couple times I've been talking to friends online and had to leave suddenly; if that was you, please forgive me.

As of yet, I haven't had a chance to talk with John Dahlager, the missionary of many hats.  I'm still praying and looking forward to our lunch meeting on Monday.  I'm still very unsure of what decision to make, but I'm leaning away from being an MA (see my previous post).  It just feels too temporary and indecisive to me. I'd rather just go ahead and commit to pursuing fully appointed missionary status or coming down here simply as a Christian worker who has a job "on the economy". Also... since John (or Dr. Dahlager rather) is in the administration at the national Bible college, I'm expecting this to be a very productive and enlightening discussion.

As I type, I'm sitting here at the World Alive Music (WAM) building.  They've got tests and other things going on right now, so there's not as much to see.  The choir should start up this coming Tuesday (we've delayed the start to have a few more days to advertise).  Randdy said that we already have around 50 signed up!  And he said he expects around 100 to show up for our first meeting.  THAT's exciting.  With numbers like that, we can go to slightly more difficult stuff.  Mass choirs are notorious for what Dr. Fuller calls the "mob mentality": thinking that your own voice, sound production, and subsequent pursuit of excellence doesn't matter.  However... it also has some benefits.  For beginning singers it's much easier to sing the correct pitch when there is a wall of sound behind you singing the same note you should be.  Choral blend can also be much easier to accomplish when you are quickly lost in the mass.  That's good.

~

As an afterword... here is a link to the promo video they made of me as an advertisement for the choir.  And if you want to keep up with what's happening at WAM (and happen to read Spanish) you can check out the WAM Facebook page.

So... what exactly IS a missionary, anyway?

Josh and I went to talk with a few students at a satellite school for UNA that are planning to start a "Proyecto U" group (that's what Chi Alpha is called here).  Since it was out in the countryside, we got to talk for a long while during our scenic drive.  I had asked him some time ago if we could discuss the definition of "missionary."  It has been troublesome to me as of late because that which I want to to with my life isn't strictly what "normal" missionaries do (isn't that a loaded word?!).  This is both because I wouldn't be in any pastoral role, but also because I would be serving in an area where Christianity should be multiplying through the local church. What I mean is that some places shouldn't need missionaries and instead should be sending them.  I also wanted to discuss with him my plans for the future, what possibilities lie ahead, as well as what my next step might be.

Well, I don't know that my first question was really answered.  I guess if I have an answer, its "Don't worry about what a missionary is or isn't.  Just do what you're called to do."  Sounds like sound advice to me.

So the second question... the expanded version includes a portion about me not wanting to raise support both because I just don't want to (let me clearly state that I understand this is NOT a valid reason) and also because I am unsure that what I want to do really falls in the category of what deserves money designated as "missions."  For example... the first time I saw that commercial that looks like it should be about starving children in Africa but instead is actually about abused pets in the states, I actually laughed out loud.  And then I was disturbed that people would actually be duped into giving money to such a silly cause when there actually are starving children in African and elsewhere that are served by wonderful organizations that feed, cloth, and teach them (and that's before we even get to the part about sharing the Gospel!).  Now... I understand that music in the church is a very useful and even Biblical thing... but is it a missions thing?  I don't know.

And... I guess the same answer applies: "Don't worry about what is and isn't missions.  Just do what you're called to do."  Still sounds like sound advice.

Now to the meat of the second question: what are my possibilities for the future and what should I be doing to actuate them?

After my conversation with him, this is where I've decided to walk--in prayer and with my eyes and ears open to what God might say.  First I plan on having a good long talk with John (if I remembered his last name, I'd tell you what it is). He's the missionary that got me plugged in with Randdy Durán, the administrator of World Alive Music.  He grew up on the missions field with his mom and dad who are also A/G missionaries and have recently retired (I think?), but who are still here in Costa Rica.  As a side note...I like the idea of never retiring, at least not in the traditional, spend-the-rest-of-my-days-

relaxing type of way.  He and his wife (and whole family I think) are also musicians and I just found out they they are in administrative positions at the local Bible College.  Hmm.....

Anyway, I'm going to talk with him about the possibility of becoming a Missionary Associate (MA) in January.  I don't know exactly what this would entail, but I'll say what I know.  MA's are usually appointed for 2-3 years to work directly under a fully appointed missionary (that would be John).  Their job would be whatever the missionary deems appropriate. Often this is something the MA and the missionary work out ahead of time.  MA's have to raise their own support just like MAPS and fully appointed Missionaries do; however unlike full missionaries they are usually not allowed to itinerate.  They can only ask friends and family for support, as well as churches where they already know the pastor.  One of the biggest advantages of being an MA is that both the budget and the commitment are "starting size." That simply means, I'm not calling myself a "missionary" or even committing my life to that.  I'm simply walking in the direction I believe God is leading me.

Those are all the bare bones of what an MA does; but here's more specifically what I would be hoping to do.  I'd like to see what John thinks about me pioneering a musical component at the Bible college and if I could possibly be of use to him by bringing down stateside choirs (both from Christian colleges and secular).  This would also give me a chance to become more deeply involved in Café Chorale and to use that experience to become better acquainted with the rich body of Latin Choral music.  I could continue to work with Randdy Durán and possibly start a more permanent choir with World Alive Music.  And possibly most of all (at least on the practical side of things)... I could do all of this--or at least begin to do all of this--while taking full immersion Spanish classes with the CINCEL language school.

So... what do you think?  I also plan to discuss this with Chris & Felicity Buckle, Tony and Lindsay Jones, Billy and Debbie Harper, and Pastor Reynolds as well.  I think after discussing it with all these people, I will most likely have a clear picture of what direction I should head in.

¡Earthquake!

The actual title was originally "A 'Nothing Special' update", but I forgot to press the publish button and now I've remember something that made the week a little more exciting. :)

It's been a very busy week!  And also... a very unbusy week.

Maybe I should say that it's been a not-so-very busy week, but with spurts of intensity sprinkled in for fun.

I just finished updating my website (bet you didn't know I had one!), my bio, and my resume so that they could be translated (at least parts of them).  World Alive Music (or WAM for short) has also asked for a video of me conducting, and I have a couple friends who are so incredibly graciously working on uploading a copy of my most recent recital for me.  On Martes (that's Tuesday by the way, and not Monday... I keep getting those two confused) I'm going to come into the office and they're going to make a swanky new promo video (like this one!). I'll be sure to post that when it's available.  Luckily, they said they'd be happy to put subtitles and let me answer the interview in English.  Talk about a relief!  I don't think I'd like a video available for the entire world to see how poor my Spanish is!

~

So... about that earthquake...

The other night while watching a movie in Spanish (luckily it was a movie I had already seen in English, otherwise I would have been clueless), I felt the house shaking a bit.  Now truth be told, the house only moved about as much as when Greg or I jump up and down in my parent's house.  Not a ton (ha, get it?), but you definitely know something's up.  But since the house is made out of concrete and the movement was decidedly sideways instead of up and down, I could tell it was an earthquake.  (My host family confirmed along with the next morning's news).

So that make THREE natural disasters that I've experienced in the course of just one year! Hurricane, Tornado, and Earthquake!  The big three!

Ok... so what that my hurricane experience was a wimpy one and that I was probably 100 miles from landfall.  Maybe I can't use the term "disaster" if there's no damage... but I'm sticking to it!  Besides... my experience of a direct hit from an F4 Tornado surely trumps the rest, right?  At least let a man dream! Sheesh.

:)

I may have found a job... at least if I understood the Spanish correctly.

I thought about reprising "You'll never see me again." as a title but... eh. It's been done.  And anyway, it didn't work out quite like I thought it would before. :)

Today I connected with Randdy Durán (that's with 2 D's, or 3 depending on how you count).  He's the administrator of World Alive Music, a Christian conservatory of sorts.  I don't think I can quite explain what happened today, both because I hardly understand it myself (it all happened in Spanish) and also because I'm not sure I believe it's really true.  It's just too amazing.

I told him I was a choir director and that I'm here (in Costa Rica) to work with choirs and with Josh Amiot.  I think he may have taken the "here" to mean at his school because he almost immediately starting naming things we could do.  He wants to have me work with some local church choirs in a master-class type of setting and maybe even start a choir for the short time I'm here this summer.  Uh... what?????  Yeah, remember this guy hasn't seen me conduct or heard me sing or anything.  He doesn't know me from any bum off the street who can't speak Spanish (which granted there aren't many bums here that can't speak Spanish...).  We've already set up a set of 5, 2-hour rehearsals culminating in a recital/concert for a choir that as of yet doesn't even exist.  We start Monday the 24th of June.  Or actually, I start now gathering information and music, and also planning.  This is crazy.  So crazy that I almost cried in his office.  Not very professional, I know.

So, on top of that, while we're talking about the choir (WHICH DOESN'T EVEN EXIST YET!!!!) he asks me what's a good amount to get paid.  "No entiendo."  Apparently I heard right the first time; he was asking me what I wanted to get paid AND HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ME!  I'm caught off guard.  I told him the truth, which is I don't need money right now, since my way has been paid by friends back home.  (By the way, THANKS you guys!)  However, I also shared with him my dream to live here and to use the body of sacred choral lit to spread the Gospel and grace of Jesus to both the people in the choir as well as to the audience members.  He agrees and then proceeds to tell me how he thinks I can get more than enough work through World Alive to live off of.  He also tells me he has an apartment for rent right by the school for super cheap.  In fact, the other day I was asking some missionary friends and Ticos what a super cheap price would be.  He pretty much named the lowest end of the ranges they were giving me.

Ok. My hands are about to fall off from typing so much, and I still have to find music and prepare for this choir so that he can advertise for the next couple of weeks.

Thank you all for your prayers.  I still need them.  This morning (before my meeting with Randdy) was a very frustrating one where I was asking God why He brought me here and things of this nature...  I guess I got some of an answer already. :)  I don't know which 30 people are reading this blog, whether its the same 30 every time or different or a mix.  Either way, thank you for your prayers.

~

Ok, I'm not gone yet.  If you're still reading, let's play a game.  It's called, "Which costs more?"

1)  Which costs more, a 1-way bus ticket to the beach or 4 cups of coffee at the bus station?

Ha!  I tricked you.  You went for the coffee didn't you?  Well, the $5 bus ticket wins out by a hair over the 4 $1 cups of coffee.


2) Which costs more, a "30cm" (1ft) sub from subway, or SIXTEEN one-way bus tickets from my house to San Jose town-center?

The 12in sub cost only slightly less than 16 $0.50 tickets downtown.


PPS...

Costa Rica is only expensive if you don't let go of the US.  I had a HUGE fried fish platter (honestly more than I could finish) for lunch today that only cost me $4.50.

Choirs this side of the Caribean

I don't know what I really expected when I came here to hear the choirs, but whatever it was, my expectations were INCREDIBLY low.

It seems like everytime we have "Latin" music in the states, its always simplistic.  Put another way, I don't believe I've ever encountered a song with Spanish lyrics that was very rhythmic difficult.  Even the Spanish wasn't too much outside of the normal Latin or Italian difficulty.  But let me assure you... these songs exist!  I heard stuff last night that was rhythmicly difficult, but also extremely complex.  And almost everything was fast. I was on the front of my seat the entire dress rehearsal.  I enjoyed this mini-concert just as much as I enjoyed my first chance to hear Chanticlear live (I hope my chorale friends will forgive me for saying so).  In short... I was flat out amazed.

The music was a good mix of Latin America, not just Costa Rica.  What's more is that my host assured me that there were choirs in Cuba that were even better.  I'm amazed; both at the music, and at the number of well trained choirs to sing them.

Well, sadly I need to go.  The Honduras vs. Costa Rica game is happening even as I speak.  I don't know who to cheer for, but I won't be forgiven if I don't watch it.  I told my Honduran friend how much trouble I'd have making up my mind.  They thought it should be easy to choose...choose Honduras!  Yeah... but I'm going to be surrounded by Ticos and I don't want to die at the hands of my friends!

I also got to hear this one live... it was so much more difficult than it sounds.  I couldn't even keep up with where we were in the music.

Costa Rica and Switzerland

So if you look up Costa Rica on the Internet, you'll probably find someone mentioning it's status as the "Switzerland of Latin America." After just a few days, I'm inclined to agree.

For starters they don't have a standing military force and they tend to stay neutral while other countries quickly take sides. Today they entertained the President of China (at least I'm pretty sure that's what happened), and I hear they have treaties with many sides of the political spectrum.

Second, I've seen MANY exercisers every day I've been here and at all hours of the day.  Mainly bicyclists and runners (and not just for transportation), both of which wouldn't have dared to happen in Honduras. Honduras is a little bit more... insecure.

Thirdly, THEY HAVE A TRAIN SYSTEM!!!!!  And it doesn't just run in town!  What other country in this entire hemisphere has an inter-province train system that actually gets good use???  Maybe Argentina, but I don't know.  Does Canada's Amtrak counterpart actually see a steady flow of passengers?  I don't know.  Nevertheless, I'm extremely impressed by this and I can't wait to take a trip with my new friend Joey as far as it will take us and then explore the town.  I hear it will eventually go from the East to the West coast (note... the coasts here are not on the North and South like they were in Honduras).  Sadly though, it's not finished yet.  They are slowly changing the old banana rail to newer, smaller gage passenger rail lines.  I'm impressed.

Today we (me and the team that's here from Josh's father-in-law's church in Minnesota) went to a small school.  We attended their chapel service and it was a great experience.  There was a song from Hillsong called "Tomalo" in Spanish.  You may recognize it. I first heard it in Honduras and I very much missed the Latin's way of singing it.  I was barely able to hold back the tears.

I feel so strongly that I belong here.  I don't know if what I want to do would deserve the term "missionary." I pretty much just want to do the same thing I was doing... just in Latin America.  Actually I've been thinking a lot about the word "missionary" lately.  Shouldn't everyone be a missionary?  Maybe that weakens the original purpose of the word; I don't know.  I do know that everyone is called to do the work of a missionary even if they aren't away from their home country.  I don't know.  I've had a few conversations about this with friends, but I really look forward to talking about it with people who consider themselves missionaries and with some who are called to work that others would consider missionary work as well.

~

On a separate note, tomorrow I will be going to my first choir practice here with Edwin (my host brother).  I will be meeting Prof. Carmen in person for the first time.  Your prayers are welcome.  This is the reason I came, so I hope it goes well and that there are many new opportunities that open up from this.

Update... nothing exciting yet.

I promised updates... so here you are.

Nothing exciting is happening yet.

Remodeling

Something in church made me think of this and I couldn´t help but write it down during the time I was supposed to be listening to the sermon.  (Sorry Josh).  Also, this is the first time I´ve tried to type something with a Spanish keyboard, so forgive me if I miss something. Here goes...

Remodeling:

I was glad when He moved in.  I had become very tired of doing things by myself; trying hard to find the best way to build but failing miserably.

At first it was easy to agree with His desired changes. The bathroom was leaking raw sewage, and He showed me how to fix it.  He helped me install a garbage disposal in the sink and--although I found it extremely pedantic and menial at first--I eventually agreed that taking out the trash bi-weekly was much better than letting it build up for months at a time.  After a while we experienced a small earthquake and He convinced me to dig deeper foundations.  He kept saying, "Deeper, deeper... you must dig deeper."  It was good because eventually I found strong bedrock to attach my house to as well as a clean, cold water source to pump from.

To be sure, the digging wasn't easy! It was labor intensive, and dark, and cold, too.  But He was with me, and when we had finally completed that task I was happy to be done!

But truth be told, we weren't even close to done.  He did let me rest though, and we talked about deep things. I love these times He and I get to sit and talk; they are so incredibly sweet and relaxing, too.  But as they draw to a close He would invariably says "Next!" I soon began to understand this word.  It means "not done."  And sometimes I wondered if we would ever be done.

At first He just took a few walls down.  Small demolition at the beginning, but then more and more drastic.  Sometimes the removal of a wall would reveal a friend where I had once been sure there was an enemy.  Other times I found closer relationships with the godly friends in my life.  He was bringing me closer to them as I allowed Him to do so.

"Next!"

In other places He built walls instead of tearing them down.  Sometimes I understood.  Of course I wanted to be able to lock out the thieves and robbers which envied my new, beautiful home.  But sometimes I didn't understand.

"Next!"

One place He chose to build a wall was out back.  The frustrating part was that I had made quite a diverse and what I deemed "beautiful" garden.  My favorite part about this garden was it was so easy to grow that it pretty much grew itself. It needed very little tending.  And it was useful, too! It had fruits and vegitables.  Furthermore I knew that He let many of my friends have similar gardens and at times even encouraged them to do so!  But He was taking mine away from me.  Not fair.  I didn't understand.

Slowly He helped me to understand that the garden had extremely poisonous weeds that were working their toxins slowly into all the vegitables and fruits that I so prized.  I had noticed the weeds before (and truth be told, I had also known that some were poisonous plants), but... I had always secretly considered them "wildflowers."  Well, they were wild alright; that much was true.  In addition, He pointed out that the septic system was directly under the garden.  No wonder it grew so well. Who knows what kind of poison I was eating... even poison of my own making!  How incredibly gross.  That wall sounds better and better every time I talk about it.

One day, after a special time of rest and engaging conversation in our own special room, He said "Let's do this one next."  But... why? I don't want to get this room all dirty and dusty and besides, our beds are here. (Soon after we met, He had begun the habit of sleeping over and we would talk late into the night.)  He was ademant, though.  When I found out which wall He wanted to demolish I  was epecially confused because I had been on the other side and I didn't see anything in the yard which made it worth having a window. But I did promise when He moved in that He'd get His way if we ever disagreed. Of course I really didn't expect that I would disagree as much as I have.  Well at least I do beforehand.  Afterwards it's almost always obvious that His way was much better. So this time I agreed yet again.

He stared right away (somehow His hammer was there and ready).  With each swing I began to see something I hadn't seen before.  There was blue sky, then a mountain scape, then the most gorgeous waterfall with colors and sounds and smells I had never experienced before. Or at least I had never noticed them when I walked outside my house.  This was going to be perfect!  We could put in a set of French doors and more windows and we can plant a garden and, and... WOW! this is going to be the best ever!

~

And this was my turning point. It was then that I realized we weren't building His house.  I mean we sort of were... but also not.  Of course I had learned long ago that we deffinately weren't building my house.  But all this time I had thought we were building His.  Or at least maybe His dream home.  Surely that would explain why it was never finished... there was always room for improvement because we were building His dream home, right? Not quite.

He was... or rather we were building Our dream home.  I never understood that before.  Every time he was choosing what I wanted even before I knew what it was I really wanted.  His love for me was even greater than His love for His own life!  Yes, I knew that... but I thought it was just the BIG things.  How small of me... if He cares so much about me that He's willing to give up live itself... then of course He will pick the color that I'll best like in the long run, and of course He'll put the window in just the right place, and of course He'll pick the floor plan that works best for the things I will be doing the most.  He'll do all of these things for me because He loves me.  He loves me even more than He loves Himself.  Since He's already considered my life better than His, doesn't it make since that I let a friend like that choose... everything?

~

"What's next Jesus?"