Remodeling

Something in church made me think of this and I couldn´t help but write it down during the time I was supposed to be listening to the sermon.  (Sorry Josh).  Also, this is the first time I´ve tried to type something with a Spanish keyboard, so forgive me if I miss something. Here goes...

Remodeling:

I was glad when He moved in.  I had become very tired of doing things by myself; trying hard to find the best way to build but failing miserably.

At first it was easy to agree with His desired changes. The bathroom was leaking raw sewage, and He showed me how to fix it.  He helped me install a garbage disposal in the sink and--although I found it extremely pedantic and menial at first--I eventually agreed that taking out the trash bi-weekly was much better than letting it build up for months at a time.  After a while we experienced a small earthquake and He convinced me to dig deeper foundations.  He kept saying, "Deeper, deeper... you must dig deeper."  It was good because eventually I found strong bedrock to attach my house to as well as a clean, cold water source to pump from.

To be sure, the digging wasn't easy! It was labor intensive, and dark, and cold, too.  But He was with me, and when we had finally completed that task I was happy to be done!

But truth be told, we weren't even close to done.  He did let me rest though, and we talked about deep things. I love these times He and I get to sit and talk; they are so incredibly sweet and relaxing, too.  But as they draw to a close He would invariably says "Next!" I soon began to understand this word.  It means "not done."  And sometimes I wondered if we would ever be done.

At first He just took a few walls down.  Small demolition at the beginning, but then more and more drastic.  Sometimes the removal of a wall would reveal a friend where I had once been sure there was an enemy.  Other times I found closer relationships with the godly friends in my life.  He was bringing me closer to them as I allowed Him to do so.

"Next!"

In other places He built walls instead of tearing them down.  Sometimes I understood.  Of course I wanted to be able to lock out the thieves and robbers which envied my new, beautiful home.  But sometimes I didn't understand.

"Next!"

One place He chose to build a wall was out back.  The frustrating part was that I had made quite a diverse and what I deemed "beautiful" garden.  My favorite part about this garden was it was so easy to grow that it pretty much grew itself. It needed very little tending.  And it was useful, too! It had fruits and vegitables.  Furthermore I knew that He let many of my friends have similar gardens and at times even encouraged them to do so!  But He was taking mine away from me.  Not fair.  I didn't understand.

Slowly He helped me to understand that the garden had extremely poisonous weeds that were working their toxins slowly into all the vegitables and fruits that I so prized.  I had noticed the weeds before (and truth be told, I had also known that some were poisonous plants), but... I had always secretly considered them "wildflowers."  Well, they were wild alright; that much was true.  In addition, He pointed out that the septic system was directly under the garden.  No wonder it grew so well. Who knows what kind of poison I was eating... even poison of my own making!  How incredibly gross.  That wall sounds better and better every time I talk about it.

One day, after a special time of rest and engaging conversation in our own special room, He said "Let's do this one next."  But... why? I don't want to get this room all dirty and dusty and besides, our beds are here. (Soon after we met, He had begun the habit of sleeping over and we would talk late into the night.)  He was ademant, though.  When I found out which wall He wanted to demolish I  was epecially confused because I had been on the other side and I didn't see anything in the yard which made it worth having a window. But I did promise when He moved in that He'd get His way if we ever disagreed. Of course I really didn't expect that I would disagree as much as I have.  Well at least I do beforehand.  Afterwards it's almost always obvious that His way was much better. So this time I agreed yet again.

He stared right away (somehow His hammer was there and ready).  With each swing I began to see something I hadn't seen before.  There was blue sky, then a mountain scape, then the most gorgeous waterfall with colors and sounds and smells I had never experienced before. Or at least I had never noticed them when I walked outside my house.  This was going to be perfect!  We could put in a set of French doors and more windows and we can plant a garden and, and... WOW! this is going to be the best ever!

~

And this was my turning point. It was then that I realized we weren't building His house.  I mean we sort of were... but also not.  Of course I had learned long ago that we deffinately weren't building my house.  But all this time I had thought we were building His.  Or at least maybe His dream home.  Surely that would explain why it was never finished... there was always room for improvement because we were building His dream home, right? Not quite.

He was... or rather we were building Our dream home.  I never understood that before.  Every time he was choosing what I wanted even before I knew what it was I really wanted.  His love for me was even greater than His love for His own life!  Yes, I knew that... but I thought it was just the BIG things.  How small of me... if He cares so much about me that He's willing to give up live itself... then of course He will pick the color that I'll best like in the long run, and of course He'll put the window in just the right place, and of course He'll pick the floor plan that works best for the things I will be doing the most.  He'll do all of these things for me because He loves me.  He loves me even more than He loves Himself.  Since He's already considered my life better than His, doesn't it make since that I let a friend like that choose... everything?

~

"What's next Jesus?"